What happened, did I miss the chasing behind, shooting at the Empire fleets, and the results of Odyssius's and the Bo's entities' arrows?
I had a prof in Physic's (a nobel laurettes) who your Palin character could be modelled from. If not for the Teaching Assistants tranlating (it took them sometimes a day or two to do so) we would not have understood the steps he took for the various mathematical proofs he wrote down. His equations going form line E to line F would take a TA about two pages of equations to explain.
This says Chapter 39. But I don't see a Chapter 38?
The distrusted her presence.
They distrusted her presence
Keep banging the chapters out, I'm looking forward to ordering the book once complete. Just a few minor observations: ....located somewhere in the ship’s singularity, and (if) allowed to get much worse… The doctors weren’t sure that a couple of them (would) ever ------ fully recover, a fact that made Eric cringe.
I have noticed that sometimes you say Jehan and sometimes Jesan. Just double checking on it
The distrusted her presence.
try to in the ball park so
“They’ve in pursuit, Fleet Commander.”
Odysseus just managed not shudder.
“Helm, lay in the vectors I’ve sent, fill military power is authorized,
I trust your ability to tell this story Evan - I've been a big fan of this story and many of your others for many years now. But it does not seem to make sense that there is no follow-up to the arrows shot at the enemy fleet. Could this not be a game changer? Odysseus appeared to be very excited by the effectiveness of the arrow that took out an enemy ship. Would he have not told Weston immediately? Is there a limit to how many arrows that could be sent? If the ships are in laser range, could not Odysseus and Boudicca shoot back with significant accurancy, decimating the enemy fleet. Somehow this needs to be explained?
Men who misestimated their own forces.
under/over estimated
In their place, had the Empire continued to probe as it had, Jehan would have cheerfully hiding every advantage he could and allowed the Empire to throw itself into a
Those members of the crew she was careful not monitor how she integrated their thoughts into her own.
Those members of the crew she was careful to monitor how she integrated their thoughts into her own.
As always I'm entranced by what is happening on the main stage but we've been teased with the other parts of the play. Would like to get more on that and the impact before the final scene.
The distrusted her presence.
They distrusted her presence.
From Chapter 20 (security codes are frequently not working):
“Yes sir, I think we’re looking at s resource system for materials used to produce ship hulls,”
The radiation damage along was enough to scour the hull
The cruiser their were now tailing
The eighth planet out from the primary,
When you divided the world into us and them… well, no one in the us group cried too hard when a few of them get clipped.
Chapter 26-36
Continuity problems with the arrows capability/description against FTL targets
There were a single planet polity that had managed to repulse a full blown Drasin invasion.
We still known nothing about it.
let of off the pressures
spare a fist fast courier
watched him fleet flee before
created by limited limiting the local forces
weaponing weaponizing linguistics
human would be, one on some level
full fill military power is authorized
was along for the ride almost
Keep them coming, the anticipation is just about killing me.
Just some observations or suggestions on possible spelling/grammatical corrections:
Video conferencing was right (delete right) out,
…this new way to communicate with the same force (focus) he set out to learning anything
in the Marines (Marines’) meaning of the term,
at the hague.( Hague.)” Morgan
“Oh jesus. (Jesus.)”
Oh holy christ, (Holy Christ,)” Morgan sighed
communities to occasionally let of (let off) the pressures
Commander of Fleets can spare a fist (fast) courier
He said, swalliowing (swallowing) fearfully
Emilia watched him fleet (flee) before shaking
“That was always a risk created by limited (limiting) the local forces they’re permitted to raise.”
“Yes, I am aware of that all too well as well,” She grumbled (replace with: “Yes, I am all too well aware of that,” She grumbled)
It would take someone a good deal more obtuse than he, which Palin knew was saying something, in order to miss things to that degree (delete ", which Palin knew was saying something,"